About Us

About Us

Rye Purvis (UC Davis) and I (Shelbi, UMD) founded the Decolonizing Death Café because we needed it, and felt like our communities might too. In a world where conversations about death are often shrouded in silence or discomfort, the Decolonizing Death Café seeks to create an inclusive, respectful, and reflective space. Our aim is to explore the end-of-life journey through the lens of Indigenous epistemologies and the teachings of our ancestors, offering a perspective rooted in tradition, community, and spiritual connection. We meet regularly to engage in conversations that range from informal chats to more structured discussions centered around specific readings, themes, or guest speakers. Our sessions are designed to be flexible, adapting to the needs and interests of our participants.

The meeting schedule for the Decolonizing Death Café is structured as follows:

  1. Bi-Weekly Meetings: The café meets every other Friday. (the second and fourth Friday of each month).

  2. Timing: Each meeting runs from 7:00 PM to 8:30 PM Eastern Time (4:00 PM to 5:30 PM Pacific Time).

  3. First Meeting of the Month: This is an informal session focused on open conversation and community sharing.

  4. Second Meeting of the Month: Centered around a discussion of preselected readings, fostering a deeper exploration of specific themes related to death and dying.

Our Community Norms: (A Living Doc)

  • Grounding and Re-Grounding: Begin and end our gatherings with moments of reflection or practices that help anchor us in the present space.

  • Consent and Confidentiality: Respect the stories shared in this space. Information, feelings, and experiences should not be shared outside the confines of our community.

  • Recognize and Respect Diversity: Draw from Younging’s observation that Indigenous Peoples are diverse. There isn't a one-size-fits-all protocol. We must navigate with care, respecting this diversity.

  • Self-awareness and Well-being: Stay in tune with personal boundaries and health. If a moment or topic becomes too intense, acknowledge that it's okay to step away.

  • Presume Goodwill: Always approach interactions and reactions presuming good intentions. If there are misunderstandings, engage in calling in with warmth rather than calling out with aggression.

  • Value of Humor: Embrace and acknowledge the healing power of humor. Recognize the things that heal us both individually and as a collective.

  • Transformative Conflict Resolution: Address conflicts proactively and positively. View disagreements as opportunities for growth and understanding.

  • Openness and Empathy: Encourage the sharing of different perspectives. Remain open-minded to the various ways people experience and interpret life.

  • Value of Silence: Recognize the power of silence. Sometimes being present, compassionate, and supportive means simply listening.

  • Content Warnings: When discussing sensitive topics or sharing triggering materials (like images), provide a heads-up so individuals can decide how they want to engage.

  • Academic Check: Stay aware of the tone of the conversation. While academic discussions can be enlightening, this space aims to encompass emotional and experiential aspects as well.

  • Respectful Redirection: Create a mechanism for guiding discussions back on track when needed, and establish norms about when questions are appropriate.

  • Acknowledgment of Bravery: Appreciate the courage it takes to share personal stories, feelings, and experiences in this space.

  • Embrace Collective Presence: Understand that being part of this group means actively engaging and sharing in our collective experiences.

Goals for 2024

  • New Name! Help us vote!

  • New Website. What else should we add to it?

  • Grant Opportunities

  • Collaborative resource lists/syllabi